Feeling Pathetic

Today, I'm feeling completely pathetic.

We got home from Saratoga Springs, NY (more about that trip in the next post to come), and I had a sudden burst of energy to get in shape! It's been... not exaggerating... 6 years since I've really worked out. I've done some small things here or there, such as coaching the cheerleaders how to do kicks, jumps, and warm-up drills, but that's it. So, after I realized my higher metabolism isn't going to last forever, (and proof of that is starting to peek around the corner), I decided to start getting in shape. Heck, I'm in Massachusetts, with this BEAUTIFUL scenery around me, a nice calming run will help me get in touch with nature, right?

ARGH. I just finished my "run." I got all "suited" up, with my new iTouch armband, workout pants, and tee-shirt, did my stretches, kept playing up in my head that "aw, it really won't be so bad. Like riding a bike, just like riding a bike." I thought back to the days I was in cheerleading and would run a mile at 5:30am every summer morning (CHS cheerleaders, you know what I'm talking about), so really, what could be so hard? All of those out-of-shape ads and statistics, they won't apply. I'm powerful Angela Zuroeveste, and I have all of the running equipment I need... iTouch tunes will SURELY provide a fit heart. No doubt.

So, I stepped off my front steps and proudly started jogging with my head held high. Looking around at all the fall leaves, the squirrels prancing along, the chipmunks scampering, and I am "one" with nature. I wave to the neighbor, feeling proud as I think about how I am role modeling the ways to stay in shape. I've run past about five apartment buildings, and I'm thinking, "Wow, really a cinch." But then, just as Keith Urban's "Only You Can Love Me This Way" comes on the iTouch, I start bogging down. Oh no! It must be the song, it's too slow! I quickly change it to something more lively-- The Used? Sean Kingston? Cobra Starship? Why don't any of these work?? After only about... oh, 6 or 7 apartment buildings (probably close to 100th of a block), the familiar pain in the chest... (only it used to come after a mile or so), the side cramp, and my legs feel like I'm carrying 20 full-grown men on my back. I know that I'm still in sight of my neighbor, and she saw the building I came out of and the short distance I've traveled. So, I push on, beginning to really feel like a trooper. Maybe I can push through this?

I round a corner...after what feels like an eternity, and what would amount to probably only about two blocks, and I HAVE to walk. My mouth is one big cottonball, my throat feels like I just swallowed a bag of sawdust, and my whole body is aching. So, I walk. I tell myself I'll only walk the same amount of time I jogged. Luckily, no one's around to hear me breathing so heavily one would swear I ran a marathon. Finally, I set off again. This time, the aches begin immediately, but I trek forward. I mean really, am I this bad??

After finally making it around the three apartment complexes, I had traded off jogging and walking probably four or five times. And we're talking... 1/4 of a mile. Really. That's it. I jogged up to my apartment, thankful the neighbor wasn't there anymore to see the quick return of the pathetically panting lady, and walked into my apartment. Everything was darker from the blood rushing to my head, and I sank to the coach. The sick feeling came then-- nauseous. I then proceeded to complain to my ever-so-patient husband about how sorry I felt for myself because of how badly out of shape I was. I mean, really-- 1/4 mile, and I return from it feeling this exhausted?

It's because of Keith Urban.

:]